I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
