Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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