i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
