they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
