oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
