Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
