I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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