tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
