I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
