I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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