i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
