Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
