yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
