hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
