He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
