I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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