Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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