yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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