Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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