Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
