You can't special order awesome
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
