quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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