I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
