Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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