I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
