my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
