Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
