During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
