just come out here and I will go home with you...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
