I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
