Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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