Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
