apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
