Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
