I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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