I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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