I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he puts the penis in happiness.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
