I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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