I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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