I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
