theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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