his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
