none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
