why didn't you poke me back
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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