Jerry, you need to find god
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
