SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
