What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
