At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
