i already hear my dad disowning me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they're like a gay fantastic four
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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