I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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