My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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