She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
