Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
